Cousin Anne with an “E”

Have you ever read L.M. Montgomery’s “Anne of Green Gables”? My dear cousin Anne loved that the title character of the book said, “…if you call me Anne please call me Anne spelled with an E.”

My “Anne-with-an-E” cousin even sounds like what I imagine Anne of Green Gables would have sounded like. She has a beautifully comforting spoken voice. But she also has an awesome sense of humor and a lilting laugh that gets me going.

So that’s my cousin Anne Wald Wallace–daughter of my dad’s sister (i.e., Bill Engstrom’s sister Betty). Anne is a gem of a lady and has been my friend throughout my life. “Anne-with-an-E” was born exactly a month after my birthday. Though she spent a lot of her life in Pennsylvania, California, and now Memphis, Tennessee, she was living in my Wyoming hometown during our high school years. We’ve been friends from a distance most of the time, though. But what a friend Anne has been!

COUSIN CONTRIBUTIONS DURING the CRAZIES

I look forward to talking about Anne’s impact and contributions throughout the difficult years with Denny, his dementia and his death, and her continued long-distance compatriot companionship through Grief Fog and beyond. Again–as I’ve noted in previous posts–I am hoping that folks might see the helpful contributions made by such as Anne and apply some of what they read here to THEIR situations, reaching out to friends/relatives who are presently going through a similar experience with a loved one in dementia, or through the resulting grief fog following their loved one’s death.

COUSIN CONTRIBUTION CATEGORIES

Anne always had/has an ear to listen
Anne was a frequent phone companion during Denny’s dementia years. She talked me off many a ledge. Her parents had gone through dementia as had my Dad and Denny’s Dad. But Denny’s dementia was different from all of them. Anne was a great listener, and wise and gentle in her suggestions.

Always accompanied by a sense of humor
Anne’s sense of humor always kept and keeps me laughing. She uses some props for that, i.e., her two little doggies who are always in trouble in the background on our phone calls. A laugh is truly good medicine, ALWAYS appreciated! She’s also been keeping me in stitches in spite of current day politics–VERY appreciated!

Comforting Cousin Come to drive Claire to Funeral… and then to Class Reunion

Anne, alias “The Road Queen”, drove up all the way from Memphis to drive ME to Wyoming for Denny’s funeral. I don’t have a picture of that time, because I didn’t have a MIND at that time and don’t remember any pictures taken then (except by Anne!). I was still living in my condominium in Colorado Springs into which our family had brought Denny for Home Hospice. After Denny died and right before the funeral, dear sweet Anne drove up all the way from Memphis to Colorado Springs, stayed with me, then drove ME all the way up to Wyoming for Denny’s funeral. I am betting my kids talked her into doing that. It was a brilliant move, since they had their minds on the details of the service and what all needed to be done… and I am sure I was a burden with no mind at all. So Anne must have been placed officially in charge of the Grief Fog lady. She expertly drove me through all of the awful Colorado traffic, then hightailed us up to wonderful Wyoming. Then we stayed next door to one another in the hotel. And I didn’t have anything to do but talk her head off. Poor Anne! But how I appreciated that!!

Then, that same year, we had our 50th high school class reunion. She drove me over to Rawlins for that as well. What a trooper! We stayed with my sister Connie and her husband Jay Grabow, thus the picture posted above.

Amazing Anne Ammunition for Toddler Time and Teaching
Anne was educated in early child education and used all she learned as she tutored small children in earlier career. But she has always had a heart for that, and continues to find just the right equipment, books, and toys to help with toddler and young child development. She has sent so many boxes of sweet gifts to equip this giddy grandma with amazing ideas, toys, and books to use to help me dote on my grandson.

Above Pictures
Left: Anne sent me videos of ideas to put blue floor tape [easily removable] as roads, parking, and tunnels, for a busy boy who loves “twucks”!
Top right: My creation based on idea Anne sent me, making snacks that are fun to eat! Keene LOVED that train. Oops, “Twain”…though he can now say his “r’s”.
Bottom right: Anne sent books on “Those Darn Squirrels!”, hilarious stories by Adam Rubin, that would have the squirrels meet together for a meal to discuss the book’s subject problem. In this book, they were eating cheese puffs and drinking ginger ale while they solved the story’s situation. So Anne said to serve the same stuff to Keene while we read the book. He finished off the cheese puffs by the time I thought to take the picture, but he has ginger ale in his mug and a smile on HIS mug. Notice the stuffed squirrel sitting in front of the book. That was ALSO from Anne, to make the stories more “real”. Keene truly “ate it all up”!

All the above seems out of place for dealing with the Dementia topic, but it isn’t really… Since during that time and even now, I am still trying to come out of the fog, and feel a little overwhelmed with entertaining ANYONE, not to mention an active toddler. But Anne has made it truly fun for BOTH me and for Keene. Thank you, Anne!

Anne with an E = TREASURE
What an amazing friend, yes? I am so grateful for her, for coming alongside me to help me through my life challenges. Whether by Phone, in Person, or through Pictures of ideas, Angel “Anne-with-an-E” has taken on a new meaning other than a spelling that equated to elegance for L.M. Montgomery’s Anne of Green Gables. That “E” for me stands for Elegance, too, yes–but also for Empathy, for Education, for “Endearingness”. Thank you, Anne. I hope I can find a way to thank you for SO SO much. You are a TREASURE…

Oh my gosh! That word “TREASURE” reminded me of the treasure chest Anne made for me! See picture below. Anne took ALL of our family pictures from when I was teeny to when my kids were in high school, glazing over them with clear decorative glue that dried hard. It is a fantastic memory box that is my favorite possession. All four sides and the top are coated with pictures from the different eras of our lives. Thank you for such a work of art, taking SO MUCH TIME! Wow. Little grandson Keene loves looking at it and hearing the stories about the individual pictures. The “gift that keeps on giving” is YOU, Anne – all you have done is continuing to make a difference for all of us. Thank you from my Dennis Hitchcock family.