Mama “T”

Teresa is my youngest of three children, but the one our whole family tends to look to for guidance, for advice, for–well, just about everything! How did she get so wise? I have been amazed at her resourcefulness, the way her mind works under pressure, her thoughtfulness towards others as she seeks to get THEM in a better place. I look forward to telling you how she has helped me the past few years through the difficult journey with Denny. But first I’ll overview her life, so you can see the consistency in her character.

CHEERER-UPPER with A SMILE TO LIGHT UP THE DARKEST DAY

Before she was officially named “Mama T” in high school, she seemed to have an official role of the family cheerer-upper. I remember Teresa lit up the day with her smile when she was a little tyke. She was always toddling around trying to find me, as I was cleaning house or busy in a variety of rooms. So I’d hear her fussing and would call out, “I’m in here, Teresa.” I could hear the sound of her Pamper’s diaper making a crackling noise, getting louder as she toddled nearer. She was fussing as well and sounded so distressed, but I could tell she was heading toward my voice. As soon as she came around the corner and saw me, her face burst into a beautiful wide smile! It was hard to feel down around her, for her little face just spread sunshine wherever she went. Here’s a few pictures from those early days. But let me tell you, she still brightens up a room with her smile to this day.

LITTLE CHILD WITH A STRONG SENSE OF SELF

I remember in our Laramie house, I had taken Teresa into the bathroom to fix her hair one morning. After I was done, I set her down in front of the hallway mirror and said, “You look so pretty!” She was incensed!!! She said, “I’m Not a Pretty! I’m a Teresa, okay?!” She had quite a strong sense of self. The picture below was somewhat afterward, when we were then in Kentucky. But her hair was fixed similarly in that I had curled her bangs. But I learned not to comment after I was done!!!

A MAMA’S HEART FROM EARLY ON

Animals…
She has always had a mama’s heart. We saw such a heart on display strongly with animals as she was growing up., before the official Mama T naming. She almost got run over trying to get a stray dog out of traffic in the road in front of our house. Then one day, she found two dogs who had escaped their owner’s yard, called them into our yard, piled them into our car and had me drive them to the veterinarians who were noted on the dog tags hanging from their collars.

Buddy…
When we moved in as a family with Denny’s dad upon returning from Kentucky, we decided to get a little Schnauzer doggie. We named him Buddy. That sweet little puppy ended up having some brain issues and was having strokes. Teresa and I drove him all the way from Laramie to Ft. Collins, Colorado, where we took him to the Veterinary Hospital. The veterinarian told us their facility couldn’t help him; that the kindest thing to do for him would be to put him to sleep. Teresa held him in her loving arms with tears running down her face while the little puppy “went to sleep”. That was one hard day.

Benny…
So we got another Schnauzer from the same litter and named him Benny. What an awesome dog he was! But in later years Teresa became rather peeved at him for his “ratting” instincts. Miniature Schnauzers are called “ratters”–which means that they were bred to hunt and eliminate rodents. But Benny showed a different “Ratter” side by ratting on Teresa when she had climbed out her bedroom window one night to “go out on the town” without our permission in early high school.

Picture this scene: Benny came downstairs to my bed one night. He NEVER did that! I thought he wasn’t feeling well, so I took him up and opened the door for him to go outside. But he didn’t want to go out. Instead, he friskily trotted right around the corner to Teresa’s room. Her door was closed. Benny sat there and looked up at me. His eyes under those bushy eyebrows surely commanded, “Open the door!” So I obediently knocked on Teresa’s door to no response. After waiting a short time, I opened the door as Benny’s eyes had implored, to no Teresa! She had taken out her window screen, pulled herself up on the headboard and climbed out her window! She was so mad at Benny ratting on her when she heard how we found out about her escapade. Gives me the giggles even now.

Grover…
The last dog we got in our Hitchcock family was a little stray poodle we named Grover. Oh, how he loved Teresa, his savioress! Then she went off to college and Grover decided I would do as adoptive mother, and he became my sweet little love. But wow, he got excited when Teresa would return for visits! I brought Grover down to the Springs with me when Denny was in his last year. Grover was 18 years old then, was losing his eyesight and his hearing. As I noted in an earlier post, we had to put him down. He was so sick. And Teresa went with me and held him as she did Buddy. Thank you, Teresa.

And To-Date, Teresa’s Pets are CATS! – “Blue”, “Bernie”, “Charlie”, and “Storm”.

And this story follows suit in showing Teresa’s love for needy beings. When she was in New York, a friend of hers had to move out of state and couldn’t take her cat with her. She asked Teresa if she would adopt the elderly kitty, “Blue”. Of course she would, even though she hadn’t yet thought of herself as a cat person. But little old lady Blue endeared herself to her new owner, waking Mama T up the first night by putting her little paw on Teresa’s nose. Then Teresa would cuddle her tight, and they became best buds.

Teresa and Nick brought Blue with them to Colorado. But then, Teresa thought if she got a second cat, it might cheer up old Blue. So they found Bernie at an animal shelter. Bernie was a very sweet friend to Blue. But Blue was old and didn’t play. Teresa worried that Bernie needed a pal to play with. So they got Charlie. Charlie did INDEED play with Bernie, so it was a happy family. Until a friend asked if Teresa would take HER cat, since she found out she was ALLERGIC to her cat and wanted it to have a good home. So of course, Teresa took in her cat, Storm. See Teresa’s boys below. Old lady Blue is taking a nap on her bed and is not seen in this picture.

HIGH SCHOOL: “MAMA T” OFFICIAL NAMING

It was in High School that Teresa was christened “Mama T”. By her senior year, she had a wonderful group of friends. They would line our whole large curvy couch. Teresa took care of them, organized them all, was like a mother hen, evidently, to have been lovingly given such a name. What is so funny is that when she took off to New York after her first year of college at the University of Wyoming, she landed a summer job in a deli in Times Square. All the staff ended up calling her “Mama T” THERE as well! She gets people organized and is appreciated for that ability. So…. it’s that same organized Mama T that took over for our family when Denny was diagnosed with Dementia.

HOW TO TITLE THIS LAST CHAPTER?
– Take Charge Gal
– or, Teresa, the Thinker Througher
– or, Brains and Brawn
– or, When Tesa became MY Mama!

When we found that Denny was going into Dementia, Teresa immediately set out to get us out of Laramie and down to Colorado Springs, so that the family could help take care of Denny. Teresa was not unlike a mother hen, trying to get all the family under her wings living happily nearby in Colorado Springs.

She knew we would first need to sell the family home, a home built by Denny’s father in the 1950’s, filled with (1) Denny’s father’s and mother’s stuffs; (2) with Denny’s stepmother’s stuff after his Dad married Bobbie Jay; (3) with Bobbie Jay’s mother’s stuff after Bobbie Jay’s mother died; (4) with our family-of-five stuff. In other words, it was a packed house! Teresa came home to visit and started training me. “Okay, Mom. You just start cleaning out everything in simple steps like this: Let’s start with this closet,” as we stood in the kitchen. We were facing a full-length closet with a sliding door. As you opened it up, it had several shelves…and included my grandson, who had claimed the bottom shelf.

Teresa’s instructions were to remove everything (and everyone) from the closet. I was to put back ONLY what I use. The rest was to go out to the garage to be assembled for a garage sale or sold online. She made it sound so easy. I was actually looking forward to this project. We did this with every cupboard, every closet in every room of the house. And Teresa posted items online for me. The funniest one I remember was when we posted a Squatty Potty for sale. The fella that came for it must have been sent on the errand by his wife. He was mortified that he had to carry that out from our location, with busy traffic across from a popular park. He brought a hoodie and pulled it up and over his head and partially over his face and slunk off like a thief and pretty much RAN down the street with his “prize”!

THE GARAGE SALE: BRAINS AND BRAWN

Once we sold as much as we could online, the rest of our junk would be placed in a garage sale to become someone else’s treasure. Both Teresa and her husband Nick were incredible (as was Emma, though she was chasing her toddler around!). They posted signs, organized stuff, and started early in the morning to hobnob with garage sale junkies. Nick was awesome as the money man, bartering with people on pricing and making it seem to the buyer that they were getting an amazing deal. He and Teresa were also quite the team moving heavy stuff. We could not have done that sale without them. At the same time the sale was going on, we were still trying to keep it from Denny, who was inside the house, mainly in the basement. I’m not sure how we got through all that. But for SURE could not have done it without Teresa and Nick.

DEN’S LEG BREAK AND SUDDEN MOVE TO THE SPRINGS

As I noted in Byron’s and Emma’s “stories” previous to this one on Teresa, everyone took a job in getting us down to Colorado Springs. Byron rented a van and drove Denny and his outstretched “encasted” leg; Emma and her little toddler Keene filled up their vehicle with our luggage; and Teresa lugged me and my doggie, driving my car for me. Then she took me to her house in Colorado Springs, where I would be a guest in their basement bedroom.

NURSE TERESA

Not too long after we got Denny situated in the transitional nursing facility, I became quite sick. Whatever I had included fever and bad cough. Teresa was worried, so she drug me upstairs to her office to participate in an online nurse practitioner visit. I remember being so sick that I didn’t even try to make myself presentable, which wasn’t like me. No makeup, no combed hair, just a sick being still in jammies. Even though the DNP prescribed stuff to help, that cough and all hung on for a LONG time, which prevented me from being admitted to visit Denny in his nursing facility.

QUICK THINKING NEEDED

I still wasn’t completely over the cough, when we hear that the transitional nursing facility was not making progress with Denny. So they were planning to dismiss him from their care. Yipes! None of my kids had room to bring Denny into their homes. So Teresa started searching online for ground-level entry two-bedroom condominiums that I could rent. I remember her calling me: “Mom, I found a condo that’s only a short way from Emma’s place. I made an appointment for you. I’ll go with you.” She had to do most all the talking, since I still had a bad cough and had to be masked up. The lady we met with said I didn’t make enough salary in my retired state to afford their payments. Teresa, the quick thinker, said, “What if she pays you the full six months’ rent up front?” [We would be renting from 2/20/2023 through 8/19/2023]. That shocked the lady. She said, “Well, we’d need to see a bank statement to prove that you have enough and above to make such a move.” So we went back to Teresa’s place, had my bank send a special statement and emailed it to the lady. They approved me for those months, thanks to Teresa’s quick thinking.

BRAINS & BRAWN BACK in BUSINESS

Now that we had a place I could move to, Teresa scheduled a UHaul and a storage unit. She and Nick and Emma and I headed to Wyoming to pick up stuff to furnish the condo. They moved the furniture from Wyoming to Colorado Springs, unloaded it all and even arranged it for me before I came in to see it. Wow. It was beautiful. And the living room fit the long curved couch. Teresa and Emma had found a new bed for me [didn’t bring the waterbed, thank goodness!!), had it delivered, put sheets and comforter atop, decorated the room, making it welcoming. Bought sweet candles and bathroom soaps to make it extra special.. Even little hand towels that were embossed with “Blessed”. We were ready to bring Denny into what would be his last home. We moved him in on Monday, March 27, 2023.

BEING WHAT WAS NEEDED, YET AGAIN: CNA

All the kids were there to welcome Denny into his new place. He never was able to come out of the room in which he was bedded, since he never regained mobility. It was too hard to get him out of bed to get into a wheelchair, or to get to the bathroom. So he even had me go take pictures of the rest of the unit as well as the outside of it so that he understood where he was living. And because he was bedridden, Teresa and Emma and I became full-time CNAs [in name only, not with true certification!] taking care of Denny — and trained mainly by TERESA! She was a CNA in high school and remembered HER training well enough to guide Emma and me. I remember that first full week of Denny being in the condo. At 8 a.m., Teresa and Emma showed up with their laptops. They got set up for their own personal salaried jobs on the kitchen table. Then they were able to help me with MY job with Denny that week until I got more settled. What gems!!!

BRIGHT BLOG IDEA

Once settled at the condominium, Teresa decided I should start a blog about dementia, covering all we had been going through with Denny. Being the computer whiz that she is, she got it started for me and posted my write-ups until she taught me how to do that part of the deed myself. This blog has been an incredible release for me, helping me process everything that happened. THANK YOU, Teresa!!

TERESA AND NICK’S DECK: Such a godsend

All three kids and Denny’s sister and her husband were with me the day Denny died. That night we met at Teresa and Nick’s deck for family to process together. We shared great memories from Denny’s life, laughing and crying and doing what families do. Once again, I am so grateful that we were all close by to be able to share the time together, and grateful for Teresa and Nick’s hospitality on their awesome deck.

TERESA’s PLAN FOR MOM

Teresa had noticed one of the townhomes posting a “For Sale” sign down the street from the house in which she and Nick lived. So she got more family involved, since her cousin Jane was a realtor in the area, who had found a house for both Emma as well as Teresa and Nick. So sweet Jane gets right on it and encourages the owner to let us in to view it when we were all together on the July 4th holiday. I wasn’t sure the townhome was a fit, since it was missing some elements I really wanted to have in my own place. Teresa asked to describe what I wanted, so I did. She replied, “All of that is doable. You are selling your house in Wyoming for more than you expected, and these folks are willing to pull down the price of this unit more than you expected, so you’ll have the money to build in the components you want.” So pictured below is realtor cousin Jane (left), yours truly, and Teresa (right)–the one who made it all work out!

And Teresa was right. She and Nick and Emma all had ideas for the people who we could hire to get the jobs done to conform the townhouse to my vision. An expert carpenter they recommended agreed to make my living room wall an elaborate shelving for books, fireplace, TV and piano. So beautifully built!. Teresa and Nick knew of a great family business who agreed to put in air conditioning for my home. Emma had a fella put in new flooring for her, and he was willing to do mine that summer. All of them completed their excellent work so that I was able to move out of the condominium unit by the end of the summer, per the deal we had made with the condo manager. Unbelievable1

Teresa helped me clean out the condominium, leaving it quite beautiful and shiny. It was fun to show it to the manager and get all our deposit money back, since it was left in great shape. Thank you again, Teresa!

BRAINS AND BRAWN: One last move

Teresa, Nick, Emma and Byron helped move the rest of the furniture from storage shed to my new townhouse. Then Teresa and Nick together put up my huge Vedauwoo picture behind my couch. I remember putting that same picture up with Denny and Byron in our Laramie house. It was HEAVY and took some heavy-duty bolting to keep it where we wanted it. Teresa and Nick were pros, once again.

Then Teresa came by herself to help me put up nice window shades. She had her own pretty hot-pink drill kit, and she knew just what she was doing as she put those shades up in record time.

Later that fall, Teresa and Nick joined forces to put up my new Wilding Wall DESK Bed. They said it is bolted into the wall and will have to stay with the townhouse. That was a huge project. I was so worried about them carrying such heavy stuff for our garage sale, for moving stuff into my condo and then the townhouse, and now dealing with this very heavy deskbed. Teresa said, “Mom, Nick and I both work out. We are very strong. We won’t hurt ourselves. We work well together.” They did an awesome job. Look at this cool piece of furniture for my guests, courtesy of Teresa and Nick’s combined brains and brawn!

THIS OLD BIRD

When the family was first taking me down to Colorado Springs, Teresa kept me busy, taking me to Nick’s wonderful band concerts, parades, etc. She even inadvertently took me to an x-rated movie! We thought we were going to a musical… oops! I got to help her with a big yard project, shoveling stones from one place to another. We all went for walks and took turns with Emma’s little Keene.

But, as with any momma, she needs to let the baby bird fly out of the nest. I let TERESA fly out of MY nest after high school. Now she has set this old momma bird up in my own place; I am growing out of grief and into getting to know other folks and old birds and to enjoy my time by myself. Thank you for setting me on a good path, Mama T. You are an unbelievable treasure to me, and to ALL of us.

IN CLOSING THIS SECTION of THANKS TO BYRON, EMMA, and TERESA…

And thank you, Grandson Keene, for getting me my own bird (picture bottom right) to remind me of my “Old Bird” status.. He found it for me, chose it, and named it all by himself. For some reason, it is named “Downing.” I think he means “Downy” since he heard that word when someone described how it felt to pet soft feathers. But he calls it Downing, and so do I. The other Angel with the birds on her arms was given to me by Tori and Byron when little doggie Grover died. I think it is interesting that the angel has three birds on her arms. Makes me think of my three awesome adult children, who all flew the coop years ago, but in this season of life have come back to show this mother some love before my spirit flies off to my everlasting home! What a gift.