Picture Credit:
The picture showing with this article [mountain/forest scene with stream] was downloaded free from the internet. I understand that it was AI-generated. It looks like something I would like to call a “Pool of Baca”–not so much to show a pool of tears, but of refreshment–Looks refreshing to me!
This week I am thrilled to be reviewing the 7/24/2023 post titled, “Your Road Thru Dementia: Find Respite at the Pools of Baca“. If you’d like, you can click on the name of the post to go back and review it. I want you to know that particular post–the theme of that post–happens to encapsulate everything I am trying to do with this blog. Following is a brief summary of that Pools of Baca post:
SUMMARY: Psalm 84 and the Pools of Baca
I can’t separate what I’ve been learning through the past years–what I’ve experienced and related in this blog–from what I’m learning spiritually. It’s all intermeshed. So as I read Psalm 84, in which the “Pools of Baca” are mentioned, I understand from that scripture that I “set my heart on a pilgrimage” as I set out to be all God wants me to be in the hills and valleys of my life journey–of Betty “Bubbles” Claire Engstrom Hitchcock’s life journey of almost 70 years–so far. I know life was and is and will be hard, but I also know God has and is and will continue to strengthen me, will continue to walk with me, will glorify Himself through me on, in and through my walk here on earth. I am grateful for such a strength coming from such a faith.
My walk with God has deepened and my faith has come alive as I have seen God’s hand throughout my difficulties, as I have seen His care, as I have processed everything through this blog. I can actually be grateful FOR the difficulties, because it has been through them that I see God’s care, that I’ve felt God’s presence.
I don’t think I’ve told you what happened when my own mother died. She did not have dementia, so that’s why she hasn’t been covered in this blog. But let me share what happened on the day she died, for that story supports what I am now covering here…
My Beautiful Mom, Lavona Lee Memmer Engstrom
Mom had a terrible cancer for which the doctor prescribed a new drug. As it turned out, Mom was one of only 3 percent of the population who did NOT have the particular enzyme that would break the medicine down to help her body use and process it. Instead, it burned up her insides. She was in terrible pain and suffering. An ambulance brought her from Rawlins to our Laramie, Wyoming hospital. My dad came along with her. My sisters and their husbands came as well. They stayed in hotels overnight while the hospital cared for mom.
I’ll never forget the next morning. It was in late August as I dressed for work and was just planning to run up and check on things at the hospital. Then I needed to go back to the University, where I was in charge of an annual event with our new class of nursing students. But prior to taking off for all of that, I was having breakfast at my dining table. A WASP came out of nowhere, alighted onto the table and was crawling toward me! Just an FYI: I’m terrified of stinging insects! But I bravely refrained from becoming a “Screaming Meemie”, and instead quickly placed an empty cup over the wasp, slid some cardboard underneath and took my catch out to the back yard to set it free. That’s called “mercy”! I went all the way to the middle of the back yard, THREW the cup and RAN LIKE A WILD WOMAN to go back into the house. That wasp chased me and stung me on the knee!! I was so mad at it, since I was trying to preserve its life and set it free! Why is that in this story? There is a reason! But first, let me tell you the rest of the story…
I headed off with my stung knee to the hospital to check on Mom and family. Sisters Lorie and Connie and husbands needed breakfast, so asked if I could just stay with Dad for a little while. I said that was fine–I would be glad to stay until they returned, then would head down to work. So, while I was waiting with Dad, nurses came in to wheel Mom and her bed elsewhere in order to insert a port in mom’s shoulder/breast area so that staff could better administer medicine and not over-use the veins in her arm. Dad and I waited in that room for her return. Not too long a wait – and staff wheeled Mom back after the procedure, leaving her to rest. Then Dad and I continued in our waiting mode for Mom to wake up out of that “surgery”.
All of the sudden, Mom “coded”.
And equally all of the sudden, every available medical person in Ivinson Memorial Hospital was in THAT room with Dad and me and Mom. We couldn’t get out if we wanted to. Dad was sitting in a chair over by the window in the room. I was standing behind him. Mom was in a bed between us and the doorway. ALL of the medical emergency personnel and the doctor were between us and mom and the door.
It was the eeriest experience. I was unbelievably in perfect peace. It was as if I was having an out-of-body experience. I felt like I was looking at everything from the upper corner of the room. I could see everyone working on Mom to bring her back. I could see Dad in his anxiety as he looked on from his chair. I could see the head of the nursing unit, Jeanie, walking to the door of the room, her eyes widening as she saw my dad and me hemmed in by the press of the hospital staff as they tried to resuscitate Mom. I cannot tell you how completely at peace I was and how alert my mind was!
Then the doctor came over to us and said, “Do you want us to continue trying to bring her back?” My Dad said, “Well, yeah! I am not ready to see my wife of 57 years go!” [Not sure that was the number of years, but that’s what I counted up now as I’m writing it all.] The doctor said he understood, and staff continued their attempt to resurrect Mom. I don’t know how many more minutes they tried, but the doctor soon returned. He carefully explained that if they continued to try to resuscitate her–if they were successful–Mom would not be the same, since her brain was without oxygen so long, I believe he said.
Then I spoke to Dad – I was no longer up in the corner ceiling of the room. I was back in the moment, but still so peaceful and calm. I heard myself encouraging Daddy to let Mom be at peace now. Dad acquiesced sadly. I then saw my wide-eyed sisters and their husbands at the door. The medical people left us to be a family to say our final goodbyes to Mom.
I know God gave me special grace to be calm and clear and be what my Dad needed during that very difficult time. I could not have worked that peace up by myself, no matter how hard I tried.
My wasp stinged-knee started making itself felt…
and all of the sudden I remembered there was a Bible verse that talks about the “sting of death”. Mom just felt that “sting”. But like the Apostle Paul, who penned the 1 Corinthians 15:55-57 verses, death was just a “sting”, but the grave would not have victory. We will see Mom again, when WE get to “go up yonder”! I thank God for giving me that wasp, to help me understand the scriptures better. It makes me think of how Jesus worked while on earth: He used nature to help folks understand deeper truths. He would look around and tell people to notice the birds, or the flowers, or whatever was there to help them understand a deeper truth He was trying to convey.
So I’m sure He sent that wasp to help me understand yet one more truth! And I know He helped me be at peace during such a stressful time. It is so easy to worry about what WILL happen. But that takes energy from TODAY! Jesus said not to worry about what tomorrow will bring. And so I know, when difficult times come–and they will–He will give me what is needed to deal with whatever. He has proven that to me over and over and over again.
SUMMARY Continued: Reviewing Book of James Chapter 1
I love that the Bible’s Book of James Chapter 1 supports that “Pools of Baca” psalm, as God warns us that we will face trials of many kinds, but instructs us to persevere. He says He will give us wisdom for each trial as we ask Him, and as we believe He is giving that to us. I think that is SO COOL!!!
SUMMARY in FULLNESS:
Back to the Pools of Baca psalm, it says each difficulty in that Valley of Baca becomes a pool from our tears [makes me think of the old song, “Cry Me a River”], which in turn becomes a spring of blessing for others. I see that “spring of blessing” as others benefiting from experiences that we share about, as we saw God strengthening us in the midst of our trials, giving us wisdom, encouragement, guidance, help, perseverance and blessing. All the difficulties we went through that brought so many tears were meant for good, meant to comfort someone else coming along through a similar journey.
SUMMARY ending in a PAEON of Praise
In my original Pools of Baca post (7/24/2023), I could not help but cite 2 Corinthians 1:3-4: “Praise to God…who comforts us in all our troubles so we can comfort those in trouble with the comfort God gave us!” That brings it all together for me in such a HUGE way! That is EXACTLY what I want to be doing in life–and with this Blog!!!!
Takeaways: What will life look like because of what I learned through the “Pools of Baca” post??
My takeaway is to take ALL I have learned and worked through in my entire blog–dementia, death, anger, grief, forgiveness, you name it–and share it with others who are having a hard time navigating such experiences. I want so badly to help someone else, and to help them get to the point of release I’ve found through writing about it all. This blog has been an incredibly therapeutic experience.
- So I want to go TALK to people to share all this.
- I want to put this all into a BOOK.
- I want to give the book to people to read and to be encouraged.
I think this is my life’s work…to be honestly summarizing it all. I think I’ve gone through some rough times; but I think WRITING has been crucial. Something happens when you write. Something clicks in your brain. As I’m writing, all of the sudden I’ll have an “Ah-HA” moment, where it all comes together to make SENSE. I am so grateful for this outlet and want to encourage others to avail themselves of such an outlet as well.
Thanks for letting me “get real”. I am pumped. How in the world will I go to sleep now! It’s after 10 p.m. and I’m all hyper. I guess I’ll go tap dance and try my drum roll!