Telling a New Story

After I wrote this post and was preparing to publish it, I needed to find a picture to symbolize the subject. So, the picture attached to this post is a scene with a broken fence opening out into the sunlit greenery. It is actually a picture out the back of my new townhouse. I took the picture to show my Home Owner’s Association the damage to my fence from recent winds. The HOA is responsible for fixing fences, so I look forward to a better view in time. But as I was looking at the picture today, it seemed symbolic in that I’ve had a “wreck” of a year with all I went through with Denny, his dementia, and his death. But as this post will show, I believe I am heading out of the difficult year into a sunnier, thriving, healthy world. And that insight is a clue to where we’re heading in this post and beyond.

A Different Direction
I informed you last week that I had basically told the full Dementia story and was going to start interviewing others about their experiences with Dementia. But my family and I had a wild week the past seven days, therefore I did not get to interview folks. As it turns out, this morning I was inspired to go a different direction for the moment and am excited to take you on a little side road…or maybe a BIG HIGHWAY!

What Life Will Look Like…What Kind of Story are We Now Writing?
I have been telling stories regarding all that has happened as a result of dementia in my family, about dealing with the passing of my loved ones. And now, having read from David Brooks’ book, “How to Know a Person,” I’ve learned how important it is to tell new stories about what life will look like in the years ahead for those of us remaining. I’ve also read what Danish writer Isak Dinesen wrote: “All sorrows can be borne if you put them into a story.” He says you give your life meaning by turning the events into a coherent story. I find that all FASCINATING and am excited to attempt to put all that together in a meaningful way in upcoming blog posts.

Becoming a Reader
As a result of suddenly finding myself more or less “alone”, living by myself due to the passing of sweet husband Denny, I’ve found myself immersed in books. I never seemed to have time to read much in previous years. With working two jobs, I basically fell asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow. So reading is now a luxury to me: so fantastic!!! I can see now why people like to be in book clubs, since you WANT to discuss the book you’ve read/are reading with someone else!!! That’s when we can learn deeply as we find personal application.

I was remembering and thinking about the quote on the sign pictured above by Francis Bacon that I’ve had hanging on my wall in my bedroom by the bookshelf. I reiterate the text here: “Reading maketh a full man; Conference, a ready man; and Writing, an exact man.” I understand that so much better now. I feel “so FULL” when I am reading a thoughtful book. It makes me want to have a CONFERENCE with people! And by such conference, I feel like I am more ready to employ what I’ve understood. Then the WRITING part of the quote: As I write, I convey what I’ve learned, what I’m trying to LIVE. I believe that deepens the entire lesson. And thus this BLOG!

Reading, Talking, Writing…and DOING
So, all the reading, talking, writing has not only deepened my understanding of Dementia and what I’ve learned from my experiences, but has made me want to do something further. In the Brooks book I’ve mentioned earlier, Aldous Huxley was cited as saying, “Experience is not what happens to you, it’s what you do with what happens to you.” Therefore, what I plan to do here–today–is to plot out a new story about how life will be. Not only “What will I do with what I’ve learned?” but “What will life look like because of what I went through?”

This new thought trail seems bigger than a one-post article somehow. I believe I need to sit with these thoughts before scribbling something more out to you. Therefore, this post is to give you a head’s up as we come to this crossroad–to let you know what route we’re headed down for the next segment of the blog journey! I am greatly looking forward to what evolves by next week. Best wishes to you all. Hoping you will be continuing with me down this new road!

A new route, wondering what’s around the corner!
I have to end this post with a picture I love. I love ANY picture that shows a path going around a corner, because you don’t see what’s around the corner, or on the other side of a fence. You just know that there’s some exploring to do, some surprises, something new to experience. I hope you get the gist of what I see and want you to see. I don’t know what life will look like down the road, but I aim to plot out that new story about how life will be due to what I’ve learned (a) through the difficult journey through dementia with my husband, and (b) through the writing of this blog. I am feeling reborn somehow. Thanks for joining me on this journey… and thinking about what YOUR life can look like because of what all YOU have gone through. Do we have new strengths? Do we have a new passion because of what we have experienced or because of what someone we care about experienced? Have we learned something that needs to be shared? So many more questions begging for answers… Answers leading us to a healthier, fresher, sunny future. See you next week!